The Suffering Servant

25-December-2004 by crucifyd

Born to die...thank you Jesus...


I Already Did...

22-December-2004 by crucifyd

I've struggled with what I have come to call a "brainurism" for many years now. It involves the past and a particular issue that I just can't get over. The other day I was contemplating it all, as is pretty common in my life. I was thinking about the whole issue and going over some of the things that I have tried thinking of to get me past said issue. I started to think of how I have tried to find out who to blame for it. It starts with one person, then moves on to someone else or other people, etc...

In my mind, as I was moving through the people I have tried blaming, I unwittingly stumbled into a very short but very poignant conversation with the Lord. I finally said, yelling in my mind, "SOMEONE has to take the blame for this!!!" and the immediate next thing that I heard was:

I already did.

It was the most calm voice, the most loving, matter of fact statement. It came immediately after I made my statement, which just confirms that it was the Lord. It was not condemning or slamming me, just reminding me and letting me know the fact, it was pure Love...




11 Years

19-December-2004 by crucifyd

Yesterday was my 11th anniversary...can't believe it...many more to go with my love...


Christian Hysteria

04-November-2004 by crucifyd

Previously not even aware of it myself, on election day I noticed that I had felt tension/relief based on who it looked like might win the seat in the oval office.

I was wrong.

I think somehow it is the Christian community that has caused this. You know, "if candidate X is elected, the result will be Y...". here's what the Bible says:

Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which is from God. The authorities that exist have been appointed by God.

- Romans 13:1 Berean Study Bible

If God says that he established government and he brings people into power and he removes them from power, all I can do is make sure I cast my vote and trust God...because the King of Kings is in control of elections we can breathe easy no matter who lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue...


#80 Is Supposed To Be Sacred II

26-October-2004 by crucifyd

An addendum to the previous post. Someone said:

the hawks lost a part of their soul...by letting him wear #80. largent is the franchises greatest player... exemplifying heart, pride and professionalism. and they unretire his number?...we are now officially soulless in seattle.

- Unknown -

That pretty much sums up what I think about it...


#80 Is Supposed To Be Sacred

21-October-2004 by crucifyd

This entry is about football and more specifically my team, the Seattle Seahawks. It seems very odd to me, that something such as football, which in the grand scheme is so insignificant, can conjure up these kinds of emotions. But it does. After considering it for awhile I think that it really isn't ultimately about football at all but rather what is attached to it for me. You see, I basically grew up in The Kingdome watching the Seahawks with my Dad. Going to all those games with my Dad just seems to have made a bond with this team.

It seems the Seahawks have aquired Jerry Rice. So far that's cool. But now they say he's going to wear # 80. Oops. They say he's the greatest receiver of all time. Not to me. That designator goes to Steve Largent.

I've read many opinions about this on the seahawks.net message board and have gone back and forth between thinking "Oh, it's ok since Largent said it was..." to "No, it's just wrong" and everything between. But, after all that, I've come to the conclusion that it just isn't right. It just feels wrong...and it literally makes me feel sick.

When I found out Rice was taking Largent's number I was crushed. I watched every game that Largent played in as far back as I can remember. His number was retired in '95. I said, his number was retired in '95. The way I've always understood it, when a number is retired, that means no one will EVER wear it again. Bringing the number out of retirement cheapens the significance of it.

The last thing I found out about this is that Rice was prepared to go with # 87 or # 89 and the team made the push for him to contact Largent. Why?

To: the Seattle Seahawks,
my beloved team - you've made a mistake.


Degrees Of Sin

15-October-2004 by crucifyd

We tend to think of sin in degrees such as "murder is worse than lying".

But could it be that those we consider to be "lesser" sins such as sins of the heart or mind (which, if you get down to it, all sin starts out as a condition of the heart) are actually worse? They are so subtle, and appear not to be a big deal, or are not so noticeable. But in actuality they are killing us and we don't even realize it.

Similar to the old frog in the frying pan...


What Is Truth?

14-October-2004 by crucifyd

What is truth?
We do not determine truth...
Truth is not relative...
Truth is true whether we believe it or not...
It is true because it is...

Who is God?
We do not determine who God is...
God is not relative...
God is God whether we believe it or not...
He is God because he is...


DVD Peeve

17-September-2004 by crucifyd

I couldn't have said it better myself so, to quote a dvd reviewer:

Before I get into this review, I want to state a personal pet peeve of mine. I cannot stand the way movie studios release multiple versions of DVDs. THE GREAT ESCAPE is just the most recent in a long, long line of discs that first saw release years ago as a barebones edition, only to see a double-disc release now, filled with extras. What am I supposed to do with my old copy now? It's irrelevant, no one wants it...

- Unknown -
edited 26-December-2018

Who Are YOU?

16-September-2004 by crucifyd

I went to a conference last weekend in which the topic was "The Providence of God". One of the main reasons I went was because I have struggled with a specific mental battle for several years now in which the basic gist of it is "Why did you let this thing from the past happen God?!?!" [note the ridiculous demanding tone]. I basically went hoping once again for that silver bullet that was going to put all this to rest once and for all.

Anyway, the most referred to book of the Bible was Job (or at least the one that jumped out at me the most). In Job 40-42 (which my wife read to me after the conference) when God is posing a ton of questions to Job here is what the Lord was saying to me in summary:

Who are YOU to question ME? Who are you to question what I allow or don't allow?

another verse that comes to mind:

As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

- Isaiah 55:9 NIV

I also thought of when Peter questioned Jesus about John and Jesus basically said "What is it to you what happens with him? you just need to follow me..." not really the same context as Job or my own situation but it came to my mind so here it is.


Whatever That Means To You

26-August-2004 by crucifyd

During a time when the membership had gotten into a quite lengthy discussion on all kinds of spiritual issues, here's a line from a post that was put up on a football message board...

the lack of walking closely to our spiritual truths (whatever that means to you)

- Unknown -

Here's the response I made to said line:

How can there be more than one true spirituality when they all differ so much?...it seems to me that only one can be right and the rest a false imitation of the true one.

The Jesus of the Bible said he was "the Way, the Truth and the Life, no man comes to the Father but by Me"...again how can there be many ways to God if they differ so much (and in fact conflict in many cases). In fact Christianity is the only "religion" that claims it's leader is risen from the dead. Another very significant difference is that Christianity gives no room for man to earn his way to God but rather God pursues us and in fact made the Way for us to get to him. all others require some works, ritual, etc. and it is man who is working toward God rather than God pursuing man.

The problem with "whatever that means to you" is that there are no absolutes and we just do whatever we think is OK for us (which is different for the other guy and different from both for the next guy, etc. etc.)

If there is a God (and there is) then we must follow what he says even if we don't understand it as he is perfectly holy and in fact made us...it seems to me he would surely know what is best for us...God is no cosmic killjoy as many perceive him but his "rules" are purely motivated by love (as he IS Love) and are for our best...

- crucifyd -

Interstingly there was only one response, from another believer, and he simply said "won't get any arguments from me"...


All About Christ

27-July-2004 by crucifyd

Today I went to a funeral for this really cool old guy at our church and heard about how he lived for Jesus and that was his passion, something I already knew about him from the small amount of contact I had with him. You could just tell he was all about Christ...it made me think about things and how trivial most of what I get caught up in is...


Just One Drop

24-July-2004 by crucifyd

I went to the drag races and it was HOT (about 100 F, which is real hot for Washingtonians) and when the wind wasn't blowing I was absolutely burning alive sitting there in the grandstands.

There was someone two seats down that had a spray bottle with water in it. Every once in a while they would spray it and a few of the drops would find their way to my arm. We are talking about miniscule drops of mist. Anyway, those drops of mist felt so good in the scorching heat of the sun.

It made me think of the scripture speaking of the person in hell that is pleading for just ONE SINGLE DROP OF WATER...now I have a picture that gives me the most minute, albeit tangible, understanding of that passage...


Ultimate Freedom

04-July-2004 by crucifyd

I thought of this today and used it in the prayer before dinner:

The ultimate freedom is slavery to God.

- crucifyd -